Raising kids is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs out there. And although we often hear parents claim they’re not doing that of a great job; we are sure they’re doing the best they can. There isn’t a clear-cut handbook to follow on how to be the perfect parents. Individual differences are abundant and choosing how to raise children depends on so many factors. Yet, there are ways that have been commonly used that can help make parenting more effective.
Doing your research
Dr. Marlene mentions in this video that one of the most important key factors for mothers and fathers to be able to be effective parents is to read parenting books regularly. For parents to truly understand what parenting is about, they need to do their research to gather data and resources they can learn from. Reading these books will also allow parents to gain more awareness about how fundamental their role is when it comes to developing and forming their child’s personality and character. For example: strict and tough parents may have a negative impact on their children and cause them to develop negative feelings later on in their lives due to how high their demands and expectations are of their kids. That’s why nowadays we see teens and adults struggling with issues they carried and developed when they were children.
Showing different forms of love at different developmental stages
Sometimes parents keep treating their children and parent them the same way throughout their entire lives. For example, a mother does not need to hug and kiss her 10-year-old child to show them that she loves them. At this age, there are other more age-appropriate ways for a mother to express her love to her son or daughter (physical affection is necessarily of course, but not the sole indicator of showing love at that age). Unlike a 2-year-old child who does need physical affection at that age because it’s the only way for them to understand that they are safe, protected, and loved. Physical touch makes babies feel secure, but older kids and teenagers do need this sort of attention from their parents.As children grow and get older, they change, and in turn, their needs change as well. It is very important for parents to be able to express their love appropriately to their children, and adapt to their needs as they grow up. This implies that a mother or a father may be using parenting techniques that are supposedly good for a specific age group, but they are practicing them at the wrong time. If this happens, these parenting techniques will not be efficient with the child because they will be too old or too young to be treated the way that they are.
Finding that balance between being a parent and having a personal life
It’s important for parents to find that balance between spending time with their kids and having their own unique goals that are personal to them. Parents are so much more than just mothers and fathers; they are sons and daughters, adults, workers, etc. So, it’s only fair that they explore their own needs and goals. This is particularly important later on in life when kids are not kids anymore. They grow up, move out and the parents are left wondering what to do now with their lives. Here, having their own goals and projects helps them have more to look forward to in life. That also doesn’t mean that their role of parents is done! Their children no longer “need their mom and dad” in that sense, they need peer adults that guide and advise them. At a certain age in adulthood, parents no longer have authority over their sons and daughters, which basically means that they may advise them, but their children are no longer obliged to listen or obey what their parents tell them. At this point, parents can be helpful, but they are no longer their children’s main source of guidance.
A Word from O7therapy
Parenting can be challenging. However, taking the time to learn techniques that can help make parenting easier is a step towards the right direction. If you’d like to know more tips on how to parent effectively click Here! And if you ever feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to effectively apply parenting techniques with your children/ significant other, reach out for professional help.